This was the first time we got to hold her at Banner Desert and I remember being so afraid to even move.
This was Roxcy getting ready to be taken by air vac to banner desert. Her first helicopter ride at 1 day old.
This was a very emotional birthday for me. It is hard to believe that Roxcy was born a year ago and had to be taken to Banner Desert to the NICU. I have never actually written this down anywhere so this is a bit hard. She had undeveloped lungs and was not breathing on her own. It seriously was the most depressing feeling in the world to come home without her. I knew she was in good hands, but to not come home with her and to see her hooked up to so many things and see her struggling to breath was so terrible as a mother. She had tubes in her nose and down her throat. I remember after her first night at banner desert the nurses told me that she was a fighter and that her name suited her very well. Her first night the nurse had to put all of her tubes back in twice because she kept yanking them out with her tiny little hands. I remember feeling so proud of her at 2 days old that she had the will to do that. :) I knew at that moment that she did not want to be there as much I did not want her there. The hardest part was Shaun and I could not hold her for about 4 days we could only touch her foot or hand. When they finally told us we could hold her I think I held her for 2 hours straight without moving a muscle before I let Shaun hold her and my bum was totally numb. Then Shaun held her for 2 hours. We did that shift the rest of the day and I was in heaven. She truly is our little miracle baby. Shauns parents and my parents would come down to the hospital and switch off so Shaun and I could have a break. They were so wonderful and supportive. The nurses would always ask if Roxcy ever got put down, but after they told us we could hold her there was no going back. I can not imagine her not in our lives. She brings so much joy into our home. She is our little peace maker and comedian. If Jaden and Mckay are fighting, and they see Roxcy, they just get the biggest grins on their faces and start laughing. They truly adore her. She has this larger than life spirit and observes her surroundings constantly. I am glad that ordeal is over with and we were able to celebrate such a fun birthday. When I look back at that day I can remember feeling so absolutley afraid for my brand new baby, but never alone. I had all my family around me, and so many wonderful, supportive friends that came down to the hospital and did so much for me in my time of need. I feel (to say the least) blessed for so many amazing people in my life and to be a mom of three little angels.